3, 2, 1!

3, 2, 1!

“It is never too late to be what you might have been.” (Nunca é demasiado tarde para sermos aquilo que poderíamos ter sido) — George Eliot.

Já sou grande, é um facto, mas continuo a perguntar-me sobre o que quero ser quando for grande, especialmente depois de quem amo me questionar o mesmo nos dias em que reclamo que a vida não é como eu queria que ela fosse… Ainda em pequena, já quis ser mil coisas diferentes, algumas delas até em simultâneo, mas todos os passos que dei, entretanto, foram para responder a outras prioridades e nunca em resposta a uma questão aparentemente tão simples. Já sou grande, é verdade, mas continuo sem saber exatamente o que quero ser, enquanto consigo dizer-te o que não quero, por horas sem fim, porque não há como viver neste mundo sem catalogar o que somos ou fazemos e, por isso, tenho tanta dificuldade em dizer-te um par de substantivos que caracterizem aquilo que quero ser. Ou, na verdade, continuo a querer ser tantas coisas, que a única certeza que tenho é que a arte, a cultura e o experimentar ou fazer algo realmente novo, com certa frequência, são a contante nessas coisas todas. Continuo a acreditar naquilo que os meus olhos viam em pequena, que podemos ser um sem fim de coisas, de coelho a cowboy, mas começo também a questionar-me se é mesmo assim.

Há ideias que surgem abruptamente na nossa vida e que depois, infelizmente, se aguentam à tona de um mar turbulento, por um sem fim de dias, sabe-se lá bem porquê, talvez por uma inércia coberta de inseguranças e por um curto-circuito inconstante entre o que dita a vontade da alma e as prioridades que divagam entre os dois hemisférios que dizem termos no cérebro. A desmotivação é, sem dúvida, um monstro silencioso que vai alastrando que nem o bolor, essa coisa incómoda, levando-nos a melhor em quase todas as vezes: “resolvo isso amanhã” transforma-se no amanhã de um amanhã que nunca virá.

Talvez tenha passado um ano desde que decidi focar-me naquilo que me faz mais feliz e que sempre vi como o dia de amanhã que efetivamente viria (mas que teimosamente tem ficando mais distante a cada dia que passa). Hoje, que decidi recomeçar, consigo distanciar-me e perceber uma certa dificuldade em voltar a um compromisso e saber que são precisos muitos passos, dados com calma, dia após dias, até poder dizer que demos a volta ao mundo. Percebi, influenciada por palavras e conquistas de outros, que era tempo de repensar prioridades e escolher o que realmente me dava alento num passado que parece agora tão longínquo. Havia dias em que escrevia noite fora (verdade também que os compromissos que tinha, e que me permitiam fazer isso, eram outros)… Havias dias em que escrever era a minha terapia, o meu ginásio, a minha meditação…

É este o desafio de quem quer fazer um mundo de coisas, quiçá tudo ao mesmo tempo, e fica com medo de não ter tempo para tudo. E esse medo, que umas vezes dá um empurrão, outras tantas congela os mil e um planos e transforma-os em ficar sentada no sofá. Presa na dúvida de como começar, acabei por perder demasiado tempo a pensar se deveria escrever em nome próprio ou reencarnando-me noutra pessoa qualquer; se deveria focar-me apenas na escrita ou experimentar um pouco de outras artes e ter conteúdos mais interativos ou até mesmo se deveria fazê-lo em português, inglês ou ambos; se deveria investir num blog próprio ou domínio; se… Eram dúvidas que se assemelhavam a um jogo complexo, onde responder à segunda questão fazia com que, por vezes, tivesse que repensar a minha primeira decisão. Que temática escolher para um ser que é tão inquieto e curioso, que gosta de experimentar e mudar as verdades quase a cada segundo?

Por fim, respondi à minha inquietação, e convenci-me que que devia ser eu mesma, livre de toxinas e sem grandes arranjos ou artefactos. Ainda que criando para agradar a quem lê, quem vê ou quem ouve, o melhor seria criar este meu universo, desconstruindo aquilo que se ergue à minha frente num puzzle que se pode montar outra vez mais tarde. Em vez de começar múltiplos projetos em separado, faria sentido juntá-los num só sitio e partilhar assim descobertas com tendências vegan, plant-based, ecológicas ou sustentáveis, aventuras que promovam uma vida melhor, mais feliz ou mais completa, desfazendo o stress que este mundo nos força a abraçar, ou partilhar até histórias inventadas, de outras vidas que não minhas (ou quem sabe, minhas em doses incertas). Numa tentativa de fugir aos rótulos de lifestyle blogger ou digital influencer, por não querer promover ou impor vontades e visões para além daquelas que já poderão ter convosco, mas que podem ainda estar escondidas… este “blog” servirá para dar mundo ao mundo que anda escondido em mim. Assim, aqui poderão encontrar publicações que vos mostrem as minhas descobertas de produtos ou sítios novos ou até escrita livre, normalmente ficção, que tanto me faz feliz, quiçá intercalados com pequenos apontamentos sobre mim. Umas vezes, repletas de palavras bonitas e figuras de estilo; outras tantas, nada mais que simples e diretas.

Hoje dou assim um passo, mesmo que pequeno, para criar o mundo que tem vivido apenas no meu pensamento, esperando que algum dia esse mundo seja algo para viver a tempo inteiro e não tenha que dividir as atenções com outra parte de mim, que vive à margem deste blog. Essa outra parte de mim tem seguido um percurso mais lógico e que luta constantemente com o que a alma diz (com formação em gestão e depois em comunicação, cultura e tecnologias da informação, tenho trabalhado até agora em funções ligadas à tecnologia/digital).

Este primeiro post é um misto de mensagem de boas-vindas, pois espero que se divirtam com o que partilhar com vocês, e uma introdução que vos conta o porquê desta aventura. Talvez por isso seja um post um quanto longo, mas com vontade de vos fazer voltar!

“The beginning is the most important part of the work.” (O começo é a parte mais importante do trabalho) — Plato.

Mais informação e projetos passados:

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