3, 2, 1!

3, 2, 1!

“It is never too late to be what you might have been.” — George Eliot.

I’m already a grown up, it’s a fact, but I continue to ask myself what I want to be when I grow up, especially after being questioned the same thing by whom I love, when I claim that life is not how I wanted it to be… While growing up, I wanted to be a thousand different things, some of them even simultaneously, but all my journey in the meantime was focused on other priorities and not never in addressing that seemingly simple question. I’m already grown up, it’s true, but I still don’t know exactly what I want to be, even if I can tell you what I do not want for sure, for hours, because there is no way to live in this world without cataloging what we are or do, and so it’s so difficult to tell you a couple of nouns that would characterize what I want to be. Or, in fact, I still want to be so many things, that the only thing I certainly know is that I have is that art, culture, and experimenting or doing something new, over and over, are all the same constants in some odd equations. I still believe in what my eyes used to see when I was little, that we could be whatever we wanted to be, from bunnies to cowboys, but now I start questioning myself if that’s indeed true.

Some ideas arise abruptly in our life but, unfortunately, they endure in a turbulent sea, for ages… who knows why; perhaps because of some inertia dressed up in insecurity and having my brain inconstantly short-circuiting because of my soul wills and all other priorities jumping like crazy kids on these two hemispheres that people say I have in my brain. Lack of motivation is undoubtedly a silent monster that spreads like mold, such uncomfortable thing, getting the best of us almost every time: “I’ll fix this tomorrow” becomes the tomorrow of a tomorrow that will never come.

It’s been a year or so since I decided to focus on what would make me happy and what I’ve always seen as a tomorrow that would indeed come (but that stubbornly has gotten more distant each day). Today, the day I decided to start over, I can distance myself a little and realize a certain difficulty in returning to a commitment, still knowing that we can only state we’ve traveled the world after too many steps being taken forward, calmly, day after day. I’ve now realized, sort of influenced by words and strangers’ successes, that it is time to rethink priorities and choose what really gave me breath in a past that now seems so far away. Writing almost all night or all day long (still with fewer concerns and commitments that now block me from doing it) was my therapy, my gym, my meditation…

This is the challenge we face when we want the world, maybe all at the same time, but then afraid of not having enough time for doing it all. And this fear, sometimes giving a boost and some other times freezing our endless plans and just forcing us into spending all day in the couch. I was stuck on how to start and ended up losing too much time thinking about whether I should sign this with my own name or just pretend I was somebody else that nobody would know; whether I should focus only on writing or experiment and have more interactive content or even if it should be done in Portuguese, English or both; whether I should have my own blog or paid domain; whether… These were doubts resembling a complex game, where answering the second question was then making me rethink my first decision sometimes. Also, what theme should I then choose that would align with being so restless and curious, with someone who likes to try and change her own truths almost every second?

Finally, I said stop to my impatience and convinced myself that I had to be myself, free of any toxins, too much preparation or artifacts. Although creating to please the ones reading, seeing or hearing me, the best option would be to create my own universe, deconstructing what stands in front of me in a puzzle that could be glued together once again. Instead of starting multiple projects separately, it would make sense to have them together in one place and share all my discoveries (be them vegan, plant-based, ecological or sustainable trends), adventures that promote a happier and fulfilling life, reducing the stress that this world forces us to embrace, or even tell you fictional stories, from lives other than my own (or perhaps mine in uncertain amounts). Attempting to escape from labels such as lifestyle blogger or digital influencer wanna-be, as I don’t want to promote or impose wills and ideas that you may already have, even if deeply hidden in you… this blog is more to create a world for the world that has been hiding in me. So here you will find posts that tell you everything about new products or real-life sites discoveries or even that free writing, usually fiction, that makes me so happy about, perhaps interweaving with little posts about me too. Sometimes, full of pretty words and figures of speech; others, just simple and straightforward.

Today I’m taking a step, even if small, towards creating the world that has lived only in my thoughts, hoping I can someday live there full-time, not having to divide my attention with another part of me that lives aside from this blog. This other part of me has followed a more logical journey, constantly struggling with what my soul has to say (with an academic background in management and then in communication, culture and information technologies, I have worked in the technology/digital world so far).

So, this first post is a blend of a welcome message, as I want you to have fun with what I share with you, and an introduction that screams why this adventure began. That’s why it got so long, perhaps, but I’ll be dying for you to come back!

“The beginning is the most important part of the work.” — Plato.

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